Not my ideal

 Motherhood is not what I imagined. My children are so different then I imagined. In my mind I imagine my girls wanting to play house and play store and do crafts together.... quietly and nicely. I imagine them all sitting around the table doing homework in the evenings. I imagine gathering my family on Monday nights to learn and laugh and play games together. I imagine having vegetables and apples for an after school snack every day. I imagine having fun cleaning parties. I imagine Sundays being peaceful as my kids read the friend magazine or watch Book of Mormon movies together. I imagine long family walks. I imagine fun road trips where we play the abc game and read books.   This is what I imagine.   My reality is my kids come home from school and want to play with friends and not each other.  Homework is usually chaotic with Carson climbing on the table, often times the piano or t.v. blaring or both and at least one kid crying because she doesn't understand her homework. Family home evenings feel like a wrestling match, trying to get my kids to sit still and stop touching each other. Games for FHE almost always include an argument or two and often tears. Let's face it, my kids don't want veggies and apples for after school snack. They want graham crackers and milk, or pretzels or Halloween candy. Cleaning parties usually turn into whining fests. Sundays are messy and noisy. Family walks end too early because someone is tired or crying.  Road trip are full of fighting and boredom.    My kids just aren't what I imagined. They are loud and silly and messy and obnoxious and energetic and defiant and persistent and demanding and whiny and social and hyper. But even though they are all those things they are also healthy and happy and funny and smart.  It's just not what I imagined or not the ideal family I picture in my mind or that I dream of having.   Tonight as I was rocking Carson before bed and listening to the loudness of my girls downstairs, I was overcome with gratitude for my loud boisterous children. They may not be what I imagined, they may not be the ideal in my mind, but they are mine and I am grateful.  I am grateful to have 4 healthy children, who can run and laugh and fight with each other.  I'm grateful for the excitement and stress they bring into my life daily.  I'm grateful for their enthusiasm for life.  I can't change who they are or how they are.  I can only accept them and love them and be grateful.   No more pity parties.  No more wishing I had quiet children. No more comparing to other families.  I will embrace the wild crazy kids I have and do the best with what I've been given.  I am truly blessed!