Last night I painted some shelves that Kent built. He's been out of town, so not much adult interaction going on around here. My kids were asleep and I painted in silence for 3 hours or so. Leaving lot's of time for pondering.
My brother Derek is getting married in 1 month. I really like his future wife. Her name is Sara. I'm so happy for them. I got their invitation in the mail yesterday and cried. Sad tears. Not because I'm sad for them. I'm really happy for them and excited for their new life together. I knew the invite was coming, I'd even seen it before cause my Mom designed it. I had read it before too. But opening that envelope and reading it just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Derek McDonald....son of Karen Wall and Stanton McDonald.
Sometimes I still can't believe it. Like maybe it's just a bad dream. All I've ever known changed so much, turned upside down. The sadness is unexplainable, undeniable.
Most days I'm fine.....most days I don't have 3 hours to ponder in silence.
6 comments:
Oh Shelley! I am so sorry. THose feelings are still so raw. It will take alot of time. You are allowed to feel sad, just know I love you and have a shoulder WHENEVER you need one.
I am so sorry and my heart just breaks for you. Sorry too, that Kent was out of town during your trying moment. I wish life was sometimes nicer to us.
If life came with a map... It would be nice wouldn't it?
This post made me cry. Because I know exactly how you feel, and what your going through. I know some days are better than others and some days are really bad. But through all of this remember there is a lesson to be learned and NO MATTER WHAT Heavenly Father loves you and and is there to listen whenever you need him. Like when you have a spare 3 hours of silence (or even just 5 min!)
Love you Shel, hang in there.
I always thought that my parents divorcing would be the absolute worst thing in the world. I am so sad that you are sad. One thing I want you to remember is that no matter how deep the hurt is, you still have both of your parents. No matter what has happened, always be sure to give them big hugs. Love ya!
Shelley,
I've actually thought about you a lot since I heard about your parents. I went through this years ago if you recall (about six times my parents separated and once got divorced then remarried, then separated again a few times only to finally be together again but in the back of my mind sometimes I still wonder if it will last) but I think it would be harder being older and thinking back on your life. It's sad. I feel sad for you and your family. I've wondered how you were doing but was afraid to ask, so thanks for sharing. My prayers for you will move up a notch!
I've been thinking of you too, Shelley, and though I don't know how you feel, my heart still aches for you. And I will remember you in my prayers!
xxx
Sara
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